I only just met Tyler about a month or so ago. Actually I met him in Dave’s car, we stopped to pick him up for a late brunch on Easter Sunday. He got into the back seat of the car and I liked him right away, he started bullshiting with me right there like we had known each other for a long time. Truly a remarkable person and I am happy to have known him even for only a short time. Today at work I couldn’t help thinking about him and about those I know who were his friend that were grieving. I thought about what his poor mother and family must be going through right now. I thought about how Tyler, only 22 years old had no way of knowing how short his life would be. How I saw him just on Tuesday at Andrew’s birthday party at the Hideout and could never even know that I would never see him again. He had just shaved off his little dread locks and the last thing I said to him was how cute he looked without them.
A life is here one day and not the next and there is no way to know.
When I got off the train tonight after work and I looked at the tree’s blooming and birds singing, people walking, life awakening and moving forward. I thought about the Spring awakening and a boy I know dying and then how I don’t tell my people enough how much they mean to me. Do I tell them ever? I thought about times where I had lived my life in fear or in sadness or in anger and vowed to never let anything take me there again—I am learning every second that life is simply too precious, loved ones too important, excuses are too common and too easy.
I went to Dave’s after work where he and Chad and many good friends of Tyler’s gathered to grieve and laugh and indulge in the senses. I felt like maybe I did not have the right to be there, I only knew him for such a brief time. All I wanted to do was to be there to help. Seeing Dave and Chad grieve broke my heart into a million pieces and in that I felt helpless.
I have known Tyler for 8 years and it only takes a minute to realize how special he was. A true gem in a world full ugliness. He touched every single person he met. You guys were lucky enough to have him in Chicago, we dearly missed him here in MN. My heart breaks, but I know he would want me to pick myself up and put a smile on. I will forever remember his smile and his laugh. Thank you for posting about such an amazing friend, brother, son and person who brought joy to all.
Shawna Lindgren (Hoff)
That was a really sweet entry and makes me miss him even more. Everything’s different…forever. Anyway, thanks.
In spite of the fact that we spend very little time in Chicago with our son Chad all of his friends feel like our extended family because we know how much they mean to Chad. Tyler became part of that family when he came to visit us not long after Chad relocated to Chicago for school. As soon as he walked into our home he was at home. He had that little sparkle in his eye that made you think he had a secret no one else knew. Such a happy young man. I am so sad for all of those young people that will miss him and especially for his family.(I can specifically relate to the grief his mom must be feeling)
To those of you that are sad– look around you, little things will show you that Tyler is still with you in spirit.
To those that are there helping Chad and Tylers other friends through this very difficult time I thank you. Give them all an extra hug for us.
I am working on a photo/scrapbook for the Fabecks of Tyler and friends over the years. I think it would be a real shame to leave out all of his friends and life in Chicago. If you could pass the message around and ask anyone if they have pictures they would like included to send them to me. I saw the light he had in his eyes when he moved to Chicago and really would like to include both his times with friends in MN and Chicago.
If anyone is interested please send them to me at:
Shawna Lindgren
38588 Glacier Drive
North Branch, MN 55056
I would like to get this done in the next few weeks.
Thank you so much,
Shawna